Author: Enlightenment Fan Fiction

“Perseverance furthers.” — Almost every hexagram in the I Ching

Winners are losers who got back up.
The Enlightened are the unenlightened who got back up.

“The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.
The wheels on the bus go round and round, all day long.”—Children’s song

Your work is not to win the wheel.
Your work is not to fix the wheel.
Your work is to exit the wheel.
The Buddha always pointing the way off the wheel.

Path of Honor
Ned Stark
Intuitively I knew not to go. My wife begged me not to go. When I said I had no choice, she was furious, because, of course, I did have a choice. But I took great pride in always doing the honorable thing, even when it was hard. So instead of listening to my intuition, I went to King’s Landing and became the Hand of the King.

I followed the path of honor because I believed that when we are honorable, life will work out. I was naïve and thought others were honorable like me. It was a true blind spot. The most damaging of my honorable acts was warning Cersei to flee before I told Robert the truth about his children’s real father. My naiveté killed both Robert and me, and led to a great war of brothers and sons fighting to take the throne. 

I was honorable, dedicated, loyal and it did not work out.

Path of Seeing
Melisandre
I thought my seeing was perfect. How could it possibly be wrong? I didn’t have the human desires that occlude seeing—the desires for power, love, and success. My only desire was to do the Lord of Light’s work. So I was utterly blindsided when I realized I’d been wrong, when I realized my visions were not pure. I had always interpreted them through the filter of my belief in the Lord of Light and the prophecy of the one true ruler, and thus, polluted them. 

But it wasn’t my imperfect seeings that were problematic—it was my righteousness. I was absolutely certain that what I saw was correct. While I didn’t have human ego to occlude my seeing, I did have tremendous spiritual ego. I believed my magic, which was so far beyond what others possess, meant I was special and the one the Lord chose to bring about the enthronement. And, there was no one there to prove me wrong or challenge me. Most people were in absolute awe of my magic and truly scared of me. Ser Davos was the only one who questioned me, but I didn’t respect his judgment—he was an unbeliever. So I was ruthless in carrying out the mission. I was certain it was what the Lord wanted. It was only in our utter defeat that my righteousness cracked. Before that, it never even occurred to me that I could be wrong.

I was a great sorcerer, but seeing is tricky, all outcomes are transient, and spiritual ego is as much a trap as human ego. It was a great relief to finally let it all go—my specialness, my powers, my mission—and after hundreds of years of striving and trying to hold it all together, disappear into dust. Next time I hope to bring some humility with me.

Path of Greed (Self-interest variant)
Littlefinger
We always knew how this was going to end. Even though I was surprised that Sansa and Arya were the ones who truly figured out my game, in that way humans can delude themselves, I both thought I could always outwit everyone, and always knew my treachery would get me killed.

Tremendous energy was expended to climb the ladder. A lot of progress was made. Next time I’ll do better.

Path of Greed (Tribal variant)
Cersei Lannister
No matter what was tried, and all was tried, my children were all murdered. Even Tommen, who ended his own life, was murdered—murdered by me when he understood what I’d done. Every victory I tasted was transient, and the harder I clung, the more things began to crumble, until it was all destroyed. 

I wanted power. I wanted to protect my family. But it was all in vain. It didn’t work out.

Path of Experiences
Arya Stark
I never wanted to be a Lady. Sword fights, intrigue, revenge, journeys, and adventure are what pull at my heart. There are so many things I want to see and do. While the game of thrones has never enticed me, being an explorer does. 

This desire for experiences will take me many places, and I’ll continue to incarnate while this place intrigues me. My time here is not done.

Path of Entitlement 
Daenerys Targaryen
I am powerful. I am beautiful. Men fall in love with me—deeply. They pledge their fealty to me. I can stand in burning flames and walk away unscathed. I, alone, have dragons. I am the one, the one who can do it. It is my destiny, it is my right. And though I’ve been repeatedly warned to be merciful, I can’t hear it because I know I’m right. I know I’m the true queen. 

Well, that’s what I thought. My lack of humility and mercy are my downfall. I never take the throne. It was all for naught.

Path of Duty
Jon Snow
People have many ideas about why I was brought back to life—to help defeat the Night King, to kill Dany and keep the tyranny that was building inside her in check, to set things back to right. I don’t know about any of that. All I know is I’m tired, and relieved to go north of the wall with the wildlings and lead a simple life. I’m tired of this game. I’ve always done my duty in the game, but I never wanted to be in it. 

I know the only way to win the game, is to leave the game.

“It’s not whether you’re paranoid, it’s whether you’re paranoid enough.”—Rama

About a month after Rama left the body, someone put a pistol to my shoulder (in a dream) and shot me. I woke up with a burning line through my shoulder. After it continued to bother me for a few months, I realized at a much deeper level just how much Rama cleared us out every time we met with him. If he’d still been in the body, the sorcery line in my shoulder would have been long gone. Instead, I had this line for years, and jokingly called it “Frodo’s shoulder” because it would burn whenever I encountered any kind of low vibe energy.

You might think that this dream is the one that made me ruthless about not letting the dream plane derail my path to enlightenment. It was such an obvious ploy to throw me off, and indeed it worked to some extent. I did really worry if I could ever become enlightened with a sorcery line in my body and Rama not around to clear it out (you can). But it wasn’t this dream that pushed me; it was another I had several months later.

The dream was with Rama. When I woke up from the dream, I had this lovely, fuzzy romantic feeling towards him. All that day at work I focused on that pleasant feeling. It was only that night, as I walked home from the subway, that I realized something was wrong. I could barely make it up the street to my apartment. I was so tired, it was like every drop of energy had been sucked out of my body. It was then it finally occurred to me that the dream had not been with Rama, but rather an impostor. While my relationship with Rama is the greatest romance of my life, it’s never felt fuzzy. It’s always been bright, sharp, precise, bathed in love, love itself, but not dully romantic. And (no duh) dreams with Rama are bright and empowering, not draining! I realized I’d been a total idiot, and in that moment (well actually after I recovered a bit), I became ruthlessly intent that no one can fucking have my energy and no one can fucking have my mind!

So I began practicing dream yoga. I focused on a ball of white light with an OM symbol in my heart as I fell asleep, and then woke up every couple of hours to reset my focus back to the light in my heart. I did this so I’d be in bright worlds while sleeping, which is lovely in and of itself, but it also makes you inaccessible to those who are not bright.

I remember telling another student about this practice, and she laughed at me—at my sincerity and my seriousness—but I didn’t care at all. It takes weirdness to wake up. If you do all the normal things humans do so no one laughs at you, you will not break through.

If you really want to wake up you have to get ruthless—not just in the dream plane, but in every situation that steals your mind and your energy, whether it’s your job, your family, your partner, or any other situation that’s hacked your mind or drained your energy. The seriousness of your intent will lead you to whatever is needed to awaken. Ask Rama/the Universe/all the enlightened ones for help, and you’ll be on your way!

“Anything or anyone who stands in the way of your spiritual progress should be ruthlessly abandoned. Simply take your foot and kick them out of your way!”—Anandamayi Ma

I’ve given you everything you need—it will unpack for years to come. —Rama, 1997

About a year and a half after Rama left the body, I moved from the Upper West Side down to Battery Park City. At this point in my practice, my entire focus was on waking up based on the Kalachakra empowerment. I was meditating super early in the morning, before the city woke up, so I could have more powerful meditations. I was teaching meditation classes on a weekly basis, not only because I felt drawn to it, but also because I loved the powerful light of the teaching empowerment that flowed through my form and made my personal meditations so much more powerful. And I was meditating every other week with a small group of Rama students who were also very focused on waking up. Everything, everything, everything was about waking up.

In my new apartment building there were several people who had studied with Rama and who were now studying with Adi Da. I knew most of them and was a little bit surprised by the proselytization that was directed my way now that we lived in the same building. In one instance, a student approached me on the sidewalk in front of our building, and offered to take me to an Adidam event. When I said that I absolutely recognized Adi Da was a buddha, but that Rama was my root guru and I was really pursuing the Kalachakra empowerment, she said in a judgmental tone, “Well, if you really feel like that’s best…”

While the sidewalk incident happened in the physical, most of the “recruiting” occurred in the dream plane. A parade of Adi Da folks came to me and tried to get me to join Adidam. The irony of this was that I totally love Adi Da, I just know he’s not my teacher. In fact, reading about Adi Da had made me understand more about my relationship with Rama. I had thought I loved Rama because he was enlightened, but after learning about this fully enlightened buddha, Adi Da, I understood that my pull to Rama wasn’t just because he was enlightened—it was because he’s my teacher! 

And it wasn’t just the Adidam folks trying to convert me. The Green Tara folks told me how life changing the practice was and that I should do it, and then there were the Mother Meera devotees. I ran into one student while walking my dogs, and she strongly and truly believed I needed to go see Mother Meera in Germany. OMG, all these people! Mother Meera rocks. I love reading about her and her experiences. I loved reading the Answers books, and greatly enjoyed how she didn’t tell people what they wanted to hear, but instead told them the truth! But I felt no pull to go see her. 

I felt no pull to see any of these teachers. I felt really calm and strong in my own practice with Rama. But finally after so many people trying to get me to see their new teachers, I rolled the I Ching to make sure I wasn’t missing something. The answer was that I had what I needed, and going to another could ruin what I already had. There was no need to return to the buffet, when my plate was already full! I was on track, and just because someone’s enlightened, or other Rama students are into it, doesn’t mean you need to join in. In fact, it can take you off track. In other words, you have to use your discrimination to identify what is right for you.

I then had a great dream with Rama. In it, we were on top of a snowy Himalayan mountain. Another student was there too; she was now studying with Adi Da, and looked very radiant and beautiful. We were all sitting in large, beautiful lotus blossoms, and preparing to surf down the mountain in them. Rama looked at us and said, “Are you ready?” The other student looked at him and said, “No, Rama. Actually, I’m not,” and disappeared. I looked at him and emphatically said, “Yes! Yes, I’m ready!” He then took off down the mountain, and I followed him gleefully.

If you too are ready, then it’s time to quit looking outward for your awakening. This doesn’t mean no one else will ever assist you, rather it means you stop looking for yet another empowerment, yet another teacher or yet another teaching to wake you up. Enough teachings have been had. You have everything you need. You know what to do—do it.

Neville
No one believed in me. No one thought I could do anything—not even my family, actually, especially my family! I was laughed at, written off, disregarded as an idiot. But when the time came to fight, I showed up. I was there—I was even the one who killed Nagini.

I was slow to start, but I practiced and practiced. I wanted it more than anything else. My parents’ situation, tortured out of their minds by the Death Eaters, created a sadness, a longing for the time we never had together. But it also created a drive to defeat the darkness, so even when others gave up on Dumbledore’s Army, I never did. I showed up and we won. And, hey, I’m even a teacher now at Hogwarts.

Luna
Okay, I was kind of spaced-out, looking in the wrong places and the wrong dimensions, but my heart was always in the right place. I always believed in Harry. I did have to really focus and get strong, but I did! In the end, I was there, strong and full of heart, and we did it.

The Twins
Well, we were always talented—that wasn’t the issue. Remember how we passed our Apparition test on the first try? No one does that! We just loved to goof off. Being serious was always a challenge, but we too showed up when it was time. And I’d say our humor helped everyone out. A laugh in a dark time is always a good thing. 

Not a day goes by that I don’t miss Fred. Some funny, great part of my life is gone. It is sad, but I’m not sad. We did it, we defeated Voldemort.

Snape
When Dumbledore said I was brave, that he’d thought the Sorting happens too early, I was stricken. The thought of being in Gryffindor with Lily—my whole life would have been different. But, it’s okay. In the end, I turned it around. Out of my love for her, I helped protect her son. And, more importantly—I see now—I got to work closely with Dumbledore. He changed me forever. Everyone thought I was with the Dark Lord, but I knew better, and Dumbledore knew, and that was enough. I did what was right, and left on a high note.

Harry
Some people joke I act just like a muggle now. No epic tasks, no battles. But I know while the externals may look mundane (the family, the job), inside, all is deeply well and exceptionally bright. My scar hasn’t hurt for seventeen years. 

“A band of minstrels suddenly appears, dances and sings, and it departs in the same sudden manner. They come and they return, but none recognizes them.” —Sri Ramakrishna

I first caught sight of my sensai, my teacher, when I was a young man. He was rescuing a child who’d been taken hostage by a thief. As I watched him, I was struck by how calm and precise he was. Even with a group of villagers huddled around him, anxiously watching his every move, he was unflustered. First, he shaved his head to look like a monk, then he donned a monk’s robe and took a plate of rice balls to the door of the hut where the thief held the child. Sensai, now looking and acting like a monk, suggested the food might quiet the hungry and crying child. And in the millisecond of the thief’s distraction, sensai charged into the hut, killed the thief, and emerged with the child safe in his arms. He was clearly a samurai of the highest order and I was immediately in awe of him.

After the rescue, he walked away from the scene unnoticed. No one gave him thanks or reward. The child’s family was in hysterics—the mother rocking back and forth, clutching the child tightly to her chest. The townspeople, too, were oblivious. They’d gathered around the thief’s dead body, taking some vengeful joy in kicking and cursing it. I, on the other hand, was so drawn to the samurai that I followed him on the road to the next town. He turned in annoyance at my presence, and I bowed at his feet and begged to study with him. He rebuffed me then, and several times afterwards, but I knew in my heart he was my teacher, so I persevered until he relented. And I traveled with him for the rest of his years, and being in his company was the greatest joy of my entire life.

As we continued walking to the next town, a small group of farmers approached him. They too had witnessed the child’s rescue, and were now seeking his protection for their village and harvest. They were very timid and, I think, afraid of sensai, but nevertheless explained their plight. They had learned that bandits were planning to steal their crop as soon as the harvest was complete—bandits who had once before robbed them of their harvest. This time the farmers did not want to be defenseless, so they were looking to hire samurai to protect them. My master accepted right away, without hesitation. All the farmers could offer in return was food, but I saw the compassion deep in his eyes, and perhaps understood why he agreed.

Our first task was to gather a company of samurai for the fight. Through all that followed—the preparations, the training, and the battle itself—this remained one of the most interesting parts of the journey. Something about the way we all came together touched my heart very deeply, though I wouldn’t understand why until many years later.

Sensai determined we’d need seven samurai total to defend the village, so we began to scrutinize every samurai who passed through town. Whenever I saw one who looked strong and tough, I thought we should ask him to join our mission, but sensai would usually shake his head no. He could see something about their character that I didn’t yet have eyes to see. 

When we did ask a samurai to join us, it was my job to test him. I’d hide inside the door of our lodge with a stick held high, ready to whack him as he entered, knowing any samurai worth his salt would sense the danger and not enter. The first samurai to join our company sensed the trap several feet in front of the door, stopped and said to sensai, “Surely, you jest.” My master laughed and asked that he not take offense at the trap and explained what we were up to. The samurai’s response, to this day, gives me chills. He said, “I’m with you. But I have to say that although I understand the farmers’ suffering and understand why you would take up their cause, it’s your character that I find most compelling. In life one finds friends in the strangest places.”

Next sensai ran into an old friend, one he had fought with many, many times before. He explained our mission, and said, “Truth is, there’s a tough battle ahead leading to neither money nor rank. Will you join us?” His old companion said yes immediately, and that was it. He was part of the company.

The others who rounded out our troupe were a master swordsman—the most skilled of us all, yet the most unassuming; a ronin, not as great with the sword, but with a bright spirit sensai said would be a treasure in the difficult times ahead; and then the final member. He came to us drunk, waving a fake scroll that proclaimed him a samurai. He wasn’t asked to join but followed us anyway, and in the end he proved to be a great, if unconventional, warrior, with a lot of heart.

Preparing for the battle was a magical time for me. Being in the company of these samurai was powerful. Their discipline and precision in planning and training was absolutely fascinating to experience. For the farmers, though, it was pure torture. Whenever we had any setback or loss, they would drop into near paralyzing states of fear and self-pity. It was interesting to notice how the preparations had so much power for us, but absolutely none for them. 

I did, however, finally see them in their moment of power. It was after the battle was over and won, and we were leaving. They’d begun planting their next crop, and it was truly a sight to see. They moved in unison, planting the young rice shoots in what seemed like a perfectly choreographed dance. And there was a joy on their faces, and I realized then it was the first time I’d seen them happy.

As we left the village, the farmers took no notice of us. Even though we saved their village, there were no goodbyes, no thanks. Our presence had always made them uncomfortable, so they kept their heads down, focused on the planting. Sensai said, “In the end, we lost this battle too.” Not comprehending him, his old friend, the one whom he’d fought alongside in many battles, asked what he meant. Sensai looked at the graves of the four in our company who died in the battle, “I mean the victory belongs to those peasants. Not to us.” And with that, we moved on, unnoticed, unthanked, and me, happy to be part of this company.

Intent is the secret sauce.

You can have a Buddha for a teacher,
You can have the empowerment to become enlightened,
You can have heard many inspiring words from those who’ve awoken,
But these alone won’t make you enlightened.

To become enlightened, you have to want it intensely.
You have to intend it.

“No one succeeds without patient perseverance.”—Ramana Maharshi
“Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work.”—Chuck Close

Precise,
like clockwork.
Tight,
everything in its place.
Hits,
delivered flawlessly.
Small,
just me,
at night,
alone in a chair.

Then,
hesitation,
opening the door,
to you
(and to my death).
Needing me to survive,
we trained,
worked hard,
fell in love.

The final hit,
for you.
I died,
but now,
you can,
move on,
and grow in the light.

She chose the yearning of the body,
over the yearning of the soul,
and howls with the sadness.

He chose the yearning for power,
over the yearning of the soul,
and withers in the meaninglessness.

She tired of the sadness.
He tired of the withering.

So she,
So he,
went for it—

whole-heartedly,
single-mindedly,
with all her heart,
with all his heart.

And
it was done.

A few weeks after the Kalachakra empowerment, Rama assigned the book, The Last Temptation of Christ. He said he didn’t particularly like the book, especially the whole bit with Mary Magdalene, but saw that it was correct for us. That makes sense because the book is “fan fiction.” It’s not about the enlightenment of Christ, rather the author uses the story of Christ’s life to explore his own struggle for enlightenment. In short, it’s not a story about a buddha’s enlightenment, it’s a story about ours.

I was slipping in and out of consciousness when she came to me. My guardian angel. She gently removed the long iron nails from my hands and feet, kissed my wounds and helped me down from the cross. She said God was a god of Mercy, and took me to Mary, and we wed. Our union was full of joy, and relief, after so many years of denial and separation.

When Mary died, my angel took me to another. She said there was another to love. We had children and grew old together, slow and content. And as I was approaching the end of my life, the old disciples appeared. Judas, in particular, was furious. He berated me for living the life of a man, “What are you doing here? What business do you have here with women, with children? What’s good for a man, isn’t good for God. Why weren’t you crucified?” His disappointment was deep that I had chosen to live a human life, instead of establishing the Dharma.

I was stunned by his words. I hadn’t realized that the work had not been done. All the effort, all the joy, all of it, not completed. My angel revealed in that moment to be Satan.

“No! No! Nooo! This cannot be! NO—IT CANNOT BE! I want to be the Messiah!” And from this place of crystalized intent, I woke up, still on the cross. All of it a dream—the last temptation—conquered! “It is accomplished!”

It is accomplished.