I’ve given you everything you need—it will unpack for years to come. —Rama, 1997
About a year and a half after Rama left the body, I moved from the Upper West Side down to Battery Park City. At this point in my practice, my entire focus was on waking up based on the Kalachakra empowerment. I was meditating super early in the morning, before the city woke up, so I could have more powerful meditations. I was teaching meditation classes on a weekly basis, not only because I felt drawn to it, but also because I loved the powerful light of the teaching empowerment that flowed through my form and made my personal meditations so much more powerful. And I was meditating every other week with a small group of Rama students who were also very focused on waking up. Everything, everything, everything was about waking up.
In my new apartment building there were several people who had studied with Rama and who were now studying with Adi Da. I knew most of them and was a little bit surprised by the proselytization that was directed my way now that we lived in the same building. In one instance, a student approached me on the sidewalk in front of our building, and offered to take me to an Adidam event. When I said that I absolutely recognized Adi Da was a buddha, but that Rama was my root guru and I was really pursuing the Kalachakra empowerment, she said in a judgmental tone, “Well, if you really feel like that’s best…”
While the sidewalk incident happened in the physical, most of the “recruiting” occurred in the dream plane. A parade of Adi Da folks came to me and tried to get me to join Adidam. The irony of this was that I totally love Adi Da, I just know he’s not my teacher. In fact, reading about Adi Da had made me understand more about my relationship with Rama. I had thought I loved Rama because he was enlightened, but after learning about this fully enlightened buddha, Adi Da, I understood that my pull to Rama wasn’t just because he was enlightened—it was because he’s my teacher!
And it wasn’t just the Adidam folks trying to convert me. The Green Tara folks told me how life changing the practice was and that I should do it, and then there were the Mother Meera devotees. I ran into one student while walking my dogs, and she strongly and truly believed I needed to go see Mother Meera in Germany. OMG, all these people! Mother Meera rocks. I love reading about her and her experiences. I loved reading the Answers books, and greatly enjoyed how she didn’t tell people what they wanted to hear, but instead told them the truth! But I felt no pull to go see her.
I felt no pull to see any of these teachers. I felt really calm and strong in my own practice with Rama. But finally after so many people trying to get me to see their new teachers, I rolled the I Ching to make sure I wasn’t missing something. The answer was that I had what I needed, and going to another could ruin what I already had. There was no need to return to the buffet, when my plate was already full! I was on track, and just because someone’s enlightened, or other Rama students are into it, doesn’t mean you need to join in. In fact, it can take you off track. In other words, you have to use your discrimination to identify what is right for you.
I then had a great dream with Rama. In it, we were on top of a snowy Himalayan mountain. Another student was there too; she was now studying with Adi Da, and looked very radiant and beautiful. We were all sitting in large, beautiful lotus blossoms, and preparing to surf down the mountain in them. Rama looked at us and said, “Are you ready?” The other student looked at him and said, “No, Rama. Actually, I’m not,” and disappeared. I looked at him and emphatically said, “Yes! Yes, I’m ready!” He then took off down the mountain, and I followed him gleefully.
If you too are ready, then it’s time to quit looking outward for your awakening. This doesn’t mean no one else will ever assist you, rather it means you stop looking for yet another empowerment, yet another teacher or yet another teaching to wake you up. Enough teachings have been had. You have everything you need. You know what to do—do it.
Enlightenment Fan Fiction 