Tag: fan fiction

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Hamlet and Pops

Ghost King: Son, I have come to tell you of the betrayal of our line.

Hamlet: Is this vision really you, or is my wish to see your face once more dreaming this form into existence?

Ghost King: No, you dream not. Tis I, your father. Deeply troubled by the events that befell me, I am wandering, wandering day and night. I get no rest. I am unsatisfied and hungry for revenge on he who betrayed me.

Hamlet: Tell me, my father, what has happened? Why do you not move on to the place where you may rest until it is time for you to descend into flesh again?

Ghost King: Indeed son, I am very troubled. I have such tremblings of anger that I cannot be at peace. Listen now to what happened, and restore my peace by seeking vengeance on your uncle!

Claudius murdered me—he poisoned me and stole all that was mine—my throne, my wife, my people, but not yet you, my son. It is up to you to avenge my death! You must set it all to right!

Hamlet: Father, this is grievous indeed. I was angry at Mother for marrying Uncle while the dirt on your grave was still muddy and wet, but I see the true fault lies with him. What karma between the three of you has triggered this unfortunate unfolding? Or is it just a grasping state of mind within my uncle?

What misery we bring upon ourselves, when truly we could all be in such a paradise, living in Elsinore with our loved ones, surrounded by beautiful gardens, majestic game, and the clear, cool river. Why instead has this route been chosen? Why did he need to be the one in power? Did he think it would bring him happiness to kill his brother and usurp the throne? Surely anyone could see that would not end well. The mind would be so burdened with the murder, that no moment on the throne would be clear and proud.

Ghost King: Son, I say it again, avenge you must this egregious fortune!

Hamlet: What is important is I free you from this hell you occupy.

Ghost King: Yes! With the death of Claudius I will be satisfied and can leave this insubstantial and transient state.

Hamlet: Actions may or may not be taken against my uncle—that is still to be seen. But you must be quenched now. Come let the cool waters of the Buddha extinguish the fire of your rage. I cannot let you remain here bound to this fire. Let me grab your hand, if even just in my mind, and let us sit before the Lord, and be enveloped by his light, and his love.

Let us realize that this story with Uncle has only a transient reality, and that when we fix upon eternity, that reality evaporates like a drop of dew touched by the sun. In the light, let us see how all cares, even the good ones, disappear. Come with me there. Let us dissolve, once and for all, this vengeance you carry.

Ghost King: Son, even at the word vengeance, I am reminded of Claudius’ treachery and am anew with burning fire in my heart. For the honor of our family and our line, you must make things right. You must avenge my death!

Hamlet: Again I say, let us now to the Buddha, and sit in the shower of his light. If then, you can still even remember what vengeance is, then we can plan.

Both Hamlets walk down to the river and sit under the willow tree.

Hamlet: Still your mind, father. Feel the bright love that is your heart. Let this love expand out, wave after wave, engulfing all that is around us until it swallows the entire earth, and then, all the universe.

Hamlet thus showed his father the Lord. And drunk with love, all story of this Earth disappeared. A sweet brightness took over the old king, and the ghost began to disappear from Hamlet’s sight. No longer bound to his story of vengeance, he was free to move on, and did.

Hamlet now had to see the correct way to deal with his uncle. Getting things set to right in this physical existence is never-ending. He wouldn’t be sad when his time here was finally done and he no longer had to be.

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February Third and So On

To a sleeping Rita, “I think you’re the kindest, sweetest, prettiest person I’ve ever met in my life. I’ve never seen anyone that’s nicer to people than you are….The first time I saw you, something happened to me. I never told you, but I knew that I wanted to hold you as hard as I could….I don’t deserve someone like you. But if I ever could, I swear I would love you for the rest of my life. ”

I can’t believe it happened again.

This time it’s not just a day. The loop is different, longer. I wake up the next day with Rita by my side and we start a relationship that lasts for the rest of our lives. And it is sweet and good. After living together for a few years we get married. We have kids—two of them—and that too is amazing. I love them more than myself and being devoted to them makes my heart ache beautifully. I didn’t know I could love so much, but this love also brings pain. My son dies too early. It’s different each iteration—motorcycle accident, cancer, car crash—but each time, it’s the worst. It’s unbelievably painful.

Amid all of the ups and downs of life, Rita and I stay strong in our relationship. I’m sure it’s because of all the things I learned in the previous loop. I’m lucky to be with her and know it. Of course, there are annoyances and some dullness—I’m not trying to romanticize us—but all in all, it is good, very good. And then she dies. And I’m left alone. I have my daughter and the grandkids, who live in L.A., but I feel like my heart has been cut out. She was the love of my life and, BAM, I wake up again, that first morning with Rita. Our love so new and exciting, and we start it all over again.

What’s different is I keep forgetting I’m in a loop. When it was twenty-four hours, it was impossible to forget. When Ned Ryerson said every day, “Now, don’t you tell me you don’t remember me, because I sure as heck fire remember you,” I always thought, really, dude, again? But this time when the same things happen, they feel only vaguely familiar, like, hasn’t this happened before? It’s harder for me to remember that I’ve done all of this again, and again, and again. When the loop is decades long, the loop is forgotten. Most of the time, the events of the day are forefront in the mind and the awareness of the loop is barely there, if at all. It returns when we wake up after our first night together, but that rush of first love and finally getting what I want propels me into the loop again (and again).

But now that I’ve completed the loop so many more times than I ever did on Groundhog Day, I’m ready for something else. Even though it’s a great loop, I cannot do it again. So this time when we wake up, I apologize and say you are lovely, but I must be on my way.

February 3, I exit the B&B. I’m alone, but not afraid. I know where to find my teacher. In this loop, she’s always been there, on the periphery, waving to me to come over. Sometimes I went and dipped my toe in, and carried the taste of Consciousness with me. But this time I go with the intent to fully jump in. The end of all loops.