To cut yourself off from someone who is hurting you or dragging you down, you need to get rid of all the things that create a connection to that person. It is through these connections that you feel their energy, and that they can hurt you energetically. Severing these connections makes it very difficult for them to have access to your mind and body; additionally, you won’t have to expend so much energy through mindfulness to keep them at bay.
Note: You have to close all the channels to cut someone off entirely. I’ve seen people do the majority of the following, but not do the final bits because it’s either too much effort, there’s too much attachment, or they don’t think it’s really important (e.g., not closing that email he has because you don’t really use it anymore). I encourage you to cross the finish line, and not be the person that tells the story that they did all they could, but simply couldn’t get rid of that person for [insert fake reason – they’re too powerful, they’re family so there will always be some genetic connection, he’s an old lover and you never really get rid of exes – I call b.s. on all these reasons], when the reason is really that you didn’t sever all the connections.
- Change your email(s), and don’t give your new email address to the person, or to any of the people who associate with that person.
- The person you are trying to disconnect from can connect to you through other people, so you have to cut them off as well. It’s just like computer networking. If computer A (the person) connects to computer B (mutual friend/relative/associate), and computer C (you) connects to computer B (mutual friend/relative/associate), then Computer A can connect to computer C.
- The person you are trying to disconnect from can connect to you through other people, so you have to cut them off as well. It’s just like computer networking. If computer A (the person) connects to computer B (mutual friend/relative/associate), and computer C (you) connects to computer B (mutual friend/relative/associate), then Computer A can connect to computer C.
- Change your phone number and don’t provide the new number to the person or their associates.
- Unfollow the person on social media, and remove them from following you on your accounts. Make your social media private, so they can’t re-follow you, or close your account(s).
- Get rid of everything this person has given you.
- Items received from someone create an energetic connection to that person. I’ll never forget a story from a student who upon getting rid of a suitcase that she’d forgotten was from an aunt, realized that was why this distant relative appeared in her mind from time to time, which otherwise didn’t make sense because they weren’t close or even in communication.
- Items received from someone create an energetic connection to that person. I’ll never forget a story from a student who upon getting rid of a suitcase that she’d forgotten was from an aunt, realized that was why this distant relative appeared in her mind from time to time, which otherwise didn’t make sense because they weren’t close or even in communication.
- Get rid of anything that reminds you of this person.
- Scan your entire house. Start at one point, walk through your entire house, looking at every item, until you come full circle back to the starting point.
- Scan all your other spaces – car, office, studio, vacation home, etc.
- Move. If someone has lines into your home, this will break them.
- If they’ve spent time in your car, get a new car.
- Get rid of any legal entities that bind you together – companies, marriages, other agreements.
- Avoid the places they visit and travel – websites, streets, parks, meditation venues, etc.
- I once noticed that when I visited nytimes.com, I would connect with someone I was trying to get rid of who loved and strongly identified with the Times, so I simply avoided the site until I no longer felt him (it took a few years).
- I once noticed that when I visited nytimes.com, I would connect with someone I was trying to get rid of who loved and strongly identified with the Times, so I simply avoided the site until I no longer felt him (it took a few years).
- The above should cover almost everything you need to do to cut someone off. But be vigilant and observe the circumstances where this person arises in your mind. There will likely be a few weird things that connect you, which you’ll want to dissolve or avoid. As an example, my Kindle got lined out by someone who was in my attention, even though they didn’t buy it for me or ever use it. But I noticed their mind states in my mind whenever I used it, so I tossed it, and it was good riddance!
Bag o’ Tricks #2: Dream Yoga
Are you tired when you wake up in the morning? Do you feel sleepier after sleeping than you did before you went to sleep? Do you feel uninspired and hopeless? If yes, you are being drained in the dream plane. The “classic” draining techniques are to have sex with you or to cuddle with you in a dream. Another is the “walk and talk” where you chat with a person as you do many different activities – go here, go there, get on a bus and go over there, blah, blah, on and on until you’re drained.
One way to disrupt the drain is to practice dream yoga. A good reference guide is The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep.
Enlightenment Fan Fiction 